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The term “helicopter parent” is familiar to most of us to describe the parent who constantly hovers over their child to watch their every move. A more recent version of this is gaining attention – the “lawn mower”parent.

A lawn mower parent is described as one who mows down all
possible obstacle in their child’s path. On the surface, it sounds harmless
enough – as parents we want to help our children in any way we can. Many of us
would argue that one of our primary jobs as a parent is to help our children
navigate life. Where things start to get complicated is when parents take that
to the level of trying to eliminate all challenges, tough decisions and
disappointments for our children.

One of the greatest traits our children can have is
resilience. Life is full of hurdles and highs and lows. Children who have
learned that some days will be challenging, that life will have problems to
solve, and that they are capable people who can work their way through
difficult times will ultimately be happier adults. The ability to brainstorm
solutions and tap into available resources will serve children well all through
life.

How do we set our children on the right path and avoid the
lawn mower urge? Starting early is critical.

A few tips to get started:

Encourage and praise independence with self-help
skills. (“You zipped your coat all by yourself!”)Take time to show and teach before you perform
simple life skills. (“I’m sorting my light colors and dark colors before they
go in the washing machine. Let me show you how the machine works.”)Teach your children to name and express their
emotions. (“You seem worried. Let’s talk about it and see if we can figure
something out.”)Share your own disappointments when appropriate
and model good coping […]

Parents often wonder about the right age to start playdates for their children.  Bottom line- there’s no magic number and a lot of factors enter into the decision. Following are a few questions to start the thinking process for your family.

What are you hoping to accomplish?

Some parents are looking for socializing opportunities for children who may not have siblings, relatives, or neighbors to play with. In some cases, parents are trying to help a child develop a deeper connection with a classmate to help school transitions go more smoothly. Sometimes parents are just trying to find ways they can have a little “me time” in the midst of busy lives. Any of these are reasonable!

Has your child spent time away from you before?

If the answer is yes, they are a lot more likely to be comfortable with a playdate. If not, you may want to take a few small steps first, like leaving them with a relative for a short period of time, taking them to a story time where you can sit in the back of the group, or having a babysitter come to your home for a trial session in surroundings that are familiar to them. In any case, start with short periods of time until your child gains confidence in their safety and ability to be without you.

How well do you know potential playdate partners?

Are you setting something up with a trusted friend or neighbor? Is the playdate with a classmate whose family you don’t know at all or may only know casually? There’s a fine line between being a “helicopter parent” and being a cautious one. Children are vulnerable, and we need to be comfortable that […]

Families often worry that when a new baby comes into their family, their toddler or preschooler will be less than welcoming. Siblings can often exhibit a great deal of jealousy when a little bundle of joy takes over the spotlight that they previously enjoyed.

But what about the child who shows no interest in the new baby and basically ignores them? It happens more often than you think. It’s normal to envision your little one with a heart bursting full of love and affection for the baby but the reality is that many siblings don’t find the baby terribly interesting for the first few months at least. Toddlers and preschoolers are generally pretty active and babies just don’t have much to offer as playmates.

There are some things you CAN try to spark some connection between siblings. It’s sometimes helpful to give the older child a baby-related job. Depending on the age of the older child, they can be asked to count how many diapers you have stocked in the diaper bag for an outing, fold the baby’s washcloths when you do laundry, or pick out the outfit the baby will wear from a few you have pre-selected.

Some parents also find it works well to compliment the older child, such as “The baby LOVES you! Look how you can make them smile/laugh. “Children often take pride in being the chosen person the baby responds to.

It goes without saying that it’s important to find one on one time for the older child to remind them how important they still are. Children are less likely to resent a baby brother or sister if they still feel they are a key part of their family. It can be useful […]