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Families often worry that when a new baby comes into their family, their toddler or preschooler will be less than welcoming. Siblings can often exhibit a great deal of jealousy when a little bundle of joy takes over the spotlight that they previously enjoyed.

But what about the child who shows no interest in the new baby and basically ignores them? It happens more often than you think. It’s normal to envision your little one with a heart bursting full of love and affection for the baby but the reality is that many siblings don’t find the baby terribly interesting for the first few months at least. Toddlers and preschoolers are generally pretty active and babies just don’t have much to offer as playmates.

There are some things you CAN try to spark some connection between siblings. It’s sometimes helpful to give the older child a baby-related job. Depending on the age of the older child, they can be asked to count how many diapers you have stocked in the diaper bag for an outing, fold the baby’s washcloths when you do laundry, or pick out the outfit the baby will wear from a few you have pre-selected.

Some parents also find it works well to compliment the older child, such as “The baby LOVES you! Look how you can make them smile/laugh. “Children often take pride in being the chosen person the baby responds to.

It goes without saying that it’s important to find one on one time for the older child to remind them how important they still are. Children are less likely to resent a baby brother or sister if they still feel they are a key part of their family. It can be useful […]

Some children LOVE bath time and would stay playing in the tub for hours. Others have the opposite relationship with bath time. Since basic hygiene is a necessity, what can you do if your child falls into the “reluctant bather” side of the equation?

Bring on the toys! Look for ways to make bath time more fun. Consider trying bath markers or paints, strainers, squirters, or new floating toys.
Change up the time of day. Some children fight bath time because they know it will be followed soon after by bedtime. Try a morning or afternoon bath when your family schedule allows it.
Add something special – place battery operated tea lights in the bathroom, turn on some music and turn it into a junior spa experience.
If your child is old enough it may be time to give them the option to shower instead.
Fill the tub with bubbles and read to your child. When the bubbles are gone, finish up the story and finish washing your child.

No matter what it takes to get your child in the tub, remember that safety is critical. There is no magic age at which a child is safe in the bath tub. Sadly, drownings occur in bathtubs every year. Young children should always be supervised carefully in the tub. One final note – for many reluctant bathers, it’s a short phase. Try a few of the tricks listed here and everyone will be happy. And clean.

-Regina

If you’re the parent of a preteen and you haven’t heard those words come out of your child’s mouth, they will.  (Be honest – a few years back you said them to YOUR parents.) As preteens are starting to put together a better sense of self and their place in the world, they often question what they see as unfairness.  If a friend has certain privileges or possessions that they do not, they can feel they are being denied something they have a right to.

When your child expresses this frustration in an accusatory way, it can easily put you on the defense. It’s a natural reaction for a parent but it generally just sets up an atmosphere of further conflict. Taking a little time to ready yourself for these questions can help you to keep a cool head and yet maintain your own standards for your family.

All families have their own rules, expectations, and financial considerations that play a role here. Some parents allow “riskier” behavior and later regret it, while some feel strongly that allowing some controlled risk is an important step in the growth and decision making process for children. When you can let go and to what degree is a very personal decision that comes with knowing your child’s abilities, reactions to peer pressure, daily environment, etc. Your job is to make the best possible decisions for your own child about what this looks like.

When you set boundaries and limitations for your children, it’s a sign of love, concern, and parental responsibility. Children obviously don’t always view it as that. Be calm, firm, and consistent. Practice a few of these statements to say to your child:

“This is what works for our […]