Losing A Pet
As parents,
one of the hardest things in life is watching our children experience pain and
sadness. When a treasured family pet dies, many children are faced with their
first introduction to death.
Death is a
difficult subject for adults and when we struggle ourselves with the concept,
it makes it even harder to know how best to handle explanations with our
children. Religious beliefs definitely come into play when you determine
how/what you will share, but following are some basic Do’s and Don’ts to
consider.
DON’T
…tell
children the animal was “put to sleep” or didn’t wake up from sleep. Children
may develop a fear of sleeping themselves.….minimize
the event by saying things like, “It was just a cat.”….stop
talking about the pet. At first it may be painful but it’s an important step in
being able to remember the happy memories and to show that there is value in
all life.….tell
children not to cry. Expressing their sadness is important.…rush
into getting another pet immediately. One animal does not replace another.
DO
…encourage
children to talk about the pet that died and about their feelings.…discuss
dying, death, and grief honestly, but don’t dwell on it. Children may need only
small amounts of information at first if they are very young. …be
clear about the permanence of death.…watch
for signs children are struggling – loss of appetite, withdrawal, toileting
lapses, nightmares or other sleep disruption.…understand
children may return to the subject repeatedly as they process the death.…consider
holding some kind of small “good-bye” ritual.….find
a special way to remember the pet.