Regina

It never seems to fail. As soon as you start an adult conversation with someone, your child appears and begins demanding your immediate attention. While you no doubt find this behavior extremely annoying, the bottom line is that many adults are frequent “interrupters” too. If we want our children to grow up to be polite people with solid social skills, we can start to teach some basics early on.

Babies and young toddlers rely on adults for everything. When they have a need, they often try to make that known to us immediately and we generally respond right away. As children grow into two and three year olds, they can already start the process of seeing that sometimes there is a brief wait for the attention of adults. A great technique to begin teaching at this stage is the “hand on the arm.” How does it work? When the child approaches you and begins interrupting you, show them how to place their hand on your forearm (which you make easily available to them.) Teach them that this is their way to politely tell you they want your attention.  Next, you put your other hand on top of the one they have on your arm. Tell them that that’s YOUR signal that you will be with them in a minute. Practice, practice, practice. It won’t happen overnight, but they will begin to use the technique if you consistently reinforce it. At first, try to respond very quickly to them when you get their “signal” but as they get older and more adept at it, you can gradually increase the time before you respond to them.

One last thing? Be a good example yourself. Try to become more […]

Before you know it, the holiday shopping frenzy will be starting. This is a great time to plan ahead if you feel that gift-giving  for your children got a little out of hand last year. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of the season and spend far more than we should on gifts. Parents often find that when their children receive an abundance of gifts, it creates higher and higher expectations each year. The more gifts received, the less children seem to appreciate each individual one. In addition, when excessive spending occurs, a great deal of stress for adults can follow when reality hits and credit card bills arrive in January.

For some families, the issue may be other relatives or family friends who “over-gift.” For others, they themselves are the source of the avalanche of presents. Take a good look at your feelings on this topic and create an action plan now so you can be better prepared.

First up, communicate with those friends or family members who buy gifts for your child. Tell them very directly that while you appreciate their generosity, you are trying to scale things back a little to help your child be more appreciative.  Ask if they have something in mind already or if they would welcome  a suggestion of something your child might enjoy. If the person lives near you, an alternative to a gift could also be spending time together, like a movie date or meal out somewhere that the child enjoys.

For yourself, follow your own advice and keep purchasing reasonable. Make lists and write down every gift purchased so you have a running list of what you have already bought. Set a budget for […]

We’ve all heard about parents who “overschedule” their child and keep the child running all week from lesson to lesson or sport to sport, or a combination of the two. The other side of that coin happens too. What if your child wants to join everything? When does a parent draw the line and set some limits?

The answer to those questions can be different for different ages or personalities. A few points to consider as you evaluate what’s right for your family:

Does your child enjoy the activity and look forward to it?
Is your child overly competitive or hard on themselves if they don’t meet their own expectations?
How much expense is involved in the activity? Is that expense reasonable for your family budget?
How does participation in the activity affect the rest of the family? Does it require travel or excessive time commitments that take away from other family activities?
Is your child’s school performance negatively affected by the activity?
Is the activity safe? Is it well supervised?
Does your child have a balance of active and more relaxing activities?

Having a child who is ready and willing to explore many new things is a wonderful thing. Children need some opportunities to try out a wide variety of interests and see what clicks for them. Children who try a range of different things may come across a talent or skill that can become a lifelong source of satisfaction for them. Other children get caught up in wanting to do whatever various friends are doing out of some anxiety or feeling of missing out on something if they don’t get to do it all.

As with most things, balance is the key. Answering the above […]